Once children are eight or nine (and even more effectively as they approach the teen years) you can do something much more comprehensive and personal than the consequence game. Kids this age are conceptual and logical enough, with your help, to think very specifically about some important decisions they will face in the immediate years ahead. And it is this kind of “advance thinking” that will give them ownership of the choices they will make.
Start by getting your child a nice journal or diary (journaling is a good idea for many reasons) and help her set aside the last couple of pages for “Decisions I Have Made in Advance.” Write that heading at the top of the page and ask your child if she can think of some choices she can make right now even though it may not be time to implement them yet.
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